Its Not Right

Its just not right, If I dont talk to you, something inside of me doesnt feel fulfilled and your always there to make me happy, so im not complaining, im thanking you for being there for me in the past, and ive just gotten so used to it, ill probably take things for granted, but now its not the holidays we are both busy, so i understand =) anyways...

err webcam test...wtf

I Still Remember You

Today I still Remember...
Tomorrow I will Remember

Three Encountered Times

The holidays are nearly over, and i am sitting here worrying about the new term. I know that I have a few subjects to improve in... but i don't know wen to start studying, i really cbf atm but mum wants me to start. My friends have just left from a small party last night, was planning to drink but then didn't choose to because of someone i promised =). I still dont get whats the point of blogging but i also dont know why im doing it. I guess when you are bored, the most you can do is to write out how u feel and think...

So wat the fuck am i doing atm? well im sitting here listening to "Ministry of Sound" but i have completely dedicated myself in writing this post, so lets start... Since I have not written a post in a while, ill probably try my best to review my past few days or moments i can remember. My previous post i mentioned a special person who meant a lot to me, so did anything build on from there? I decided to hangout again and just fkn get outa the house, so garbo was a great place to head over to, Tim and I decided to go out again, we invited nicole to the cinema to watch a movie (disturbia), but it only turned out to be only me and her, while tim went and spent time with his beloved Karina :P, who always brought her sister around so Tim couldnt do fuck all to her LOL!. But about the movie, I really enjoyed it, well made good story line (original). But what was better was that nicole was with me wen i watched it which added a bit more to it ;). Oh yer i forgot to mention that before the movie we went and got some hair dye, i was planning to buy nicky sheseido perfume but myers ran out and so we walked around and went to priceline where i got two hair dye's for nicky, what fkn pissed me off was that wen we went to david jones they had the perfume which i wanted to get... but i had already spent money on the hair dye. but was all good cauz after garbo we went to karina's house, and nicky dyed my hair!! fkn awesome girl, nice effort, and quality. ;). Oh btw was fun wen u shampooed me, errr next time try aiming the shower head away from my jeans hahaha jks jks. Oh yer we had pizza that night, wtf they have pie pizza first time i tasted something like that eh. but was interesting. I sent nicky home (cough taxi) and gave her a hug good bye, i was going to tell her something but it was really rushed so i decided not to... its alright nicole ur mummy loves u.. dont blame her.

So that was 2nd encounter.. but a few days later, I went and reorganised something, cauz i really wanted to watch 300, and so i organised a time with some of my mates, and nicky + amy. both made it which was gold! lol, too bad timmy missed out soz bro =( next time alright. We chose garbo again, but this time it was different, because by now me nicky were comfortable being there for each other ;) haha jokes lah. I bought sheseido this perfume (went straight to david jones) lol, oh yer before that me max went to price line to meet up with nicky, so we sat and waited but this fkn retarded guy started talking to me LIKE WTF? he shows me a picture of wen he was bald then he made me look at his hair, he asked me if i knew how he did it, i was like... and his like i used chinese massages, where u hav to get the right pressure points nd shit, and i was just like WTF... i jus noddeda nd said "ohh,, yer... yeh..." after 10 minutes or so with his acupuncture lecture we decided to meet the others at the cinema. We went to watch 300, and then another movie afterwards -- Stomp the Yard. (alright movie) but the time watching it was fkn great... nicole u were such a comfy pillow lol jk jk. err scott please dont fkn pour coke on my chair again kthnx.

AFter the movies, me and my mates went over to nicoles place to play basket ball... was fkn great, except i got pretty badly beaten eh... *yer i know im shit at bball* tim took the taxi and met us up... spent an hour and went bak home.

At that moment I didn want to leave, because something inside of me just wanted to spend more time with that person.. who gave me such a great day, filling me with joy and a time of my life. =). She gave me an opportunity to see things differently, seeing myself and also seeing her. Thank you so much.

Anyways I wanna end the entry now.. cbf writing anymore..

Memories Recreated

How should I start this?... i think today was very interesting, the night before i was feeling so nervous and afraid about something maybe the first impression she will make and i will make of each other. But i kept on telling myself heyy why worry? just enjoy it and that things will be great! I mean your going to meet the person who has spent huge amounts of time with you, always there to talk with, there to be with. But as time went by closer and closer i began to feel really uneasy. When i arrived, as i lay my eyes on her, my heart was beating incredibly fast, i was helpless and was afraid, but at the same time something about her new image, told me that everything would be alright that she was happy to see me. As we said the obvious "hi" to each other i relaxed, because that familiar voice gave me comfort, the sweet tender voice which gives hope and a feel of care.

We originally decided as a group to go watch a movie, but we werent up for it so we decided to have a walk around. We met up at a donut place (lol soz forgot the shop name, donut king?) neways we decided to take a seat and decide on something to do. But someone mentioned the card game "big 2" which was a good idea, but we didnt have cards so nicole went and bought some from games world. (btw i nearly got into a fight with some buff dad, cauz his some fkd up show offy guy, aussie asians lol. Yer i woulda clearly been smashed, he was fkn buff) Neways we got the cards, and nicole showed us a place to sit and play, neva expected it would be there. She took us out to a place, where it was quite relaxing and interesting, i guess more isolated than the places i had in mind, which was great except it hurt my legs, werent any chairs lol but was all good cauz there was something which eased the pain, that i enjoyed being here not because of the card game, not because of where i was, but because someone special was there for me, i laid my eyes on her, i couldnt help myself but to notice how sweet, cute, adorable she really is. Every time she shuffled the cards i took the chance to take a glance and admire her looks. It was an interesting experience playing a card game outside a shopping centre, but after a few rounds we decided to go back in and got some food. We went to the food court and had some things to eat, had a few talks and then decided to leave, but instead we spent another hour in the cinemas trying to make a decision for wat should be done for the night. Honestly i tried my best to stay with her, for the night because i just really wanted to be there for her, and just share our experiences in real life, face to face somewhere quiet, somewhere nice. So in the end we decided to go to nicoles house, which was great!!!.

Me and my good friend Tim waited outside, as we were trying to hide from her mum :P (shes hot lol). We got hungry decided to walk around "the suburb" as we reached the highway some fk heads drove past and called us faggots (lol i gave them the finger) fkd up individuals LOL!. We walked for a while but couldnt find a place to eat so we decided to head back, as we got back Nicole came out and called us in, which was a relief from catching a cold ;) :P. We spent the night talking, playing poker (i fknd pwned hardcore kthnx), playing black jack and screwin around on nicoles laptop. At that time I felt a bit uneasy or a bit upset about something... i jus didnt know what but, I thought maybe... nvm but i still enjoyed it because ive always really wanted to be this close to her, and i wouldnt mind waiting because of how much i really care. But to be honest if i staid any longer it would probably be trouble and not about caring nemore. I understand... As we left something was quite unexpected because of wat was shown back in the house, I hugged her! as we put our arms around each other, i smiled and felt really comfortable in her arms, that i wasnt forgotten and it brought back great memories, memories of our times together, how we shared our moments, what we did to create those moments, and the sacrifices we made for each other. The sweet smell, and warmth in her arms gave me a new feeling... something different, maybe love? i really admired her soft touch, a goodbye and her last words. I really didnt want to go, i really wanted to spend more time with her but i had to understand, and i knew it wasnt the best idea for her and i. So i let it all go, and on the way back home i was silent, i was quiet, i was thinking.... honestly i was upset, but that hug at the end gave me reassurance of something taht maybe she does care, that maybe she does believe i giv good values, that she does understand i will be there for her, that i am thinking bout her most of the time, that the times we spent are worth something. That we are given a chance to express ourselves. But whatever it was i didnt care because, no matter wat i will always, i will always be there for her and have my care for her. (sorry if im writing so much, but its a blog and i think thats how u write it, jus write woteva the fk u want aslong as it can be understood by other people :P) But overall i really enjoyed meeting u, it meant a lot for me, and it surely gave me something to think about. Thank you so much.

As our eyes met, I relised something.
Something soft, something sweet, something about you
Which gave me hope for you and myself
I really admire the way you talk, walk and move
As they reflect a true young lady with happiness
Happiness the word that I want only for you
That you should take care of yourself
But in the mean time, you can look up to me
If you need help, if you need my time, I have it left for you
Please understand your importance, that you stand in my heart
Because maybe I love you...

I cherish every moment I spend with you
I cherish your laugh
I Love the way you move
I love the way you talk
I love the way you care
I love how you are modest
I love your maturity
I love your interests
I love your way of thinking
I love how you put others in front at times
I love how you can entertain in your own ways
I love how you give people chances
I love how you give good values
I love your sweet voice
I love how you respect me
And maybe I just love you...

Its hard for me to give up my time for people,
but you have found a way, because i do not mind
giving up my time for you.
Everyday there are questions for me,
Everyday I jus want you to be there
I want you to understand how much I care
And in the end I just want to tell you thank you
for being there for me.

Well, im not very poetic but i guess blogging is about expressing, and i wrote it all out without another look :P, its from the heart yer? lol. Neways I just hope you all the best. Once again I want to thank my friend Tim for being there for me, whenever i need him, he is there to support me, even though sometimes its uneasy for him he still forgets how much his not enjoying this and he sticks by me and my problems. Thank you Tim, I want to thank nicole for being there for me, for spending cherishable times, which mean a lot to me, you too TIMMY!!.

Alright thats all from me

takecare all
night

Another Day

Today was another interesting day, I had quite a lot of fun, my family chose to go down south but i decided not to, because there were more important things... However I found a way to entertain myself, i spent quite a while talking to some of my friends... Theres nothing much to say for this entry but i wanna tell u guys that i had a great afternoon doing a few things ;) had fun. Overall today was interesting and i enjoyed it.
i made something for someone, but i dont know how much it meant for me creating something like this for them. 40 minutes lol :P oh well.. should neva look at the negatives, shes a great person!! neways i enjoyed doing it.

Neways nothing much more to be said.

A Day to a Movie

Tonight, I got bored So my friend and I decided to watch a movie, although we watched it at a distance hearing her voice and her emotions made it more interesting. I had a lot of fun, and definitely enjoyed the show. Thanks for you know... spending the time watching the video with me. =D I hope u enjoyed it too, I might have been a bit annoying laughing at the sad scenes :P, but hearing you cry I just had to change my state lol. Anyways, today was a typical Saturday the cleaners were here to do some cleaning, and I stayed at home with nothing to do, as usual I went for a run and did some gym which hyped me up a bit more. I spent the whole day listening to music, watching shows, and chatting, (oh and i played a bit of cs) :P.

But honestly the movie "I not stupid too 2" was awesome, I never knew Singaporeans could produce such a piece. :P sorry Kai, it never seemed like it neways. hahaha but yer seems like they do have a sense of entertainment. The story line flowed really well and it never got boring, thats what movies are there for, to entertain unlike those long boring asian dramas which piss you off because they dont get to the point.

Today I was also deciding on a haircut, I really wanna get it dye but mum says that I need to pay, I said ill scab some money but shes like "oh you own so much debt though" sigh. I have no other choice, i just hope she will let me go this time, but what would be a good colour? nd style maybe vic zhou, or farhenheit yer? lol jks jks.

Anyways second blog post for today interesting how the two styles are so different. But yer i feel a lot better now expressing my previous thoughts, its always great to have your memories and experiences in words. Because I know that in future I will come back and read + reflect. If I keep writing on like this, ill start to look like some chick. Turn the gay shit off AUSTIN!!!. But blogs are alright, at first I didnt like the idea, but its great.

Alright Takecare people! Another day ahead, oh btw its the holidays so ill enjoy it. Promise you that!!!!

Austin

Fei Ni Mo Shu

For you.

Its been interesting seeing my days go by with you by my side, not only has it been interesting but it has been meaningful to me. You should understand that my happiness is built with you in part. What is there to feel? when you are hurt, you will have my support, my best. Will this ease the pain? I dislike watching you feeling down, upset and hurt but I cant blame you as human emotions are not controlled by the mind however felt and experienced by the heart. Your pain is only there because you have gone through hardship and unforgettable memories. Memories give you a place to live in, a place to live in the past. But don't depend your life on them, as your life will only be directed to your present and future, be happy and it will change.

I only reflect on my memories, but my mind is set to happy experiences so that I could give a smile as I sit here writing this blog for you and myself. Please grow strong, and live with strength so that you can hold your place and live a better life. I only want to see you walking with a sweet smile on your face, if you are upset I will be there to change your state, If you are hurt I will be there to take care of you, If you are afraid ill be there to protect you. Remember my promises as I will not break them, but do not depend on me because I cant understand you more than you do for yourself. Follow your heart as I will follow mine, and lets see where it will lead us in life. All the experiences we have gone through please try and forget about them... they mean nothing to me anymore but I can tell you today that if we start new again it would be very different. I can only be a friend to you, therefore my sweet times with you will not happen again. I am Sorry. But I know you would not care, for some reason sometimes i just feel that my love for you as a friend have not been appreciated, I at times wait for your call, I wait for you to speak but you are not there for me. When I feel alone you are at times not there for me. But its alright because as the promises i have made i will always be there for you this will not change, and i will be happy to take my actions to, love, care, and protect you. If you need help come to me as I will be waiting to help you. But remember I can only be your friend.